Grief and associated behaviour
How to read the stories

Grief and associated behaviour

Grief can last for a long time, several months or several years. This depends on the nature of the loss and on individual responses to it.

No one should be expected to feel ‘better’ after just a few weeks. Also, feelings of grief may subside for a time and then reappear later, and at such times particular care and understanding are needed.

Emotional distress may be shown through the way people behave. They may become withdrawn or agitated, they may be aggressive or unusually passive, or there may be other changes in the way they act. Others may not realise that these changes are related to their bereavement. They may be labelled as having ‘challenging behaviour’, and services may be designed around this label, while the loss and pain go unnoticed.

It is very important that carers, family members and friends are aware that changes in behaviour could be an expression of feelings, however recent or distant their loss.

How to read the stories

There is no right or wrong way to read the stories.

Some people are not used to reading stories. Start at the beginning and read the story in each picture. Encourage the reader to move through the pages at their own pace.
Encourage the person to tell the story in their own words. You will discover what they think is happening, what they already know, and how they feel. If you are using the pictures to help explain a procedure to someone, you may need to describe or clarify the actions being shown in each picture to help them understand. Try not to challenge the reader(s) or suggest their ideas are wrong.
Some pictures may be more difficult to understand. It can help to prompt the people you are supporting, for example:
• Who do you think that is?
• What is happening?
• How is he or she feeling?
• Do you feel like that? Has it happened to you/ your friend/ your family?
Allow people enough time to follow the pictures at their own pace. Allow time for discussion of each picture.
Some people may benefit from reading the larger story from which the extract has been taken. This will allow them to explore their feelings and experiences in more depth. To buy the complete book, follow the link to the bookshop that appears at the end of the story.