Abuse and disclosure
How to read the stories

Abuse and disclosure

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is the name given to abuse between people who are in, or have been in, an intimate or family-type relationship.

Domestic abuse is when one person in a relationship tries to dominate and control the other person through threats, violence or other abuse. It can take the form of physical, psychological, sexual or financial abuse, and forms a pattern of bullying and controlling behaviour. This can also include forced marriage and so-called ‘honour’ crimes. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is sometimes called domestic violence.

Domestic abuse is very common and can happen in both heterosexual and same-sex partnerships. It can happen to people of all ages, ethnic backgrounds, and economic levels. And while women are more commonly victims of domestic abuse, it can happen to men, too.

Growing up in a family where there is domestic abuse can leave a young person with painful and overwhelming emotions of guilt, betrayal and rejection. It can have a considerable impact on how they grow up and form their own relationships. Sometimes people who have grown up in a home where there is domestic abuse later enter into intimate relationships which become abusive. This may be because some of the behaviour that is abusive has come to seem normal to them. Domestic abuse can have a long-lasting and damaging effect on everyone involved.

Safeguarding

Professionals working with children will have a safeguarding policy in their organisation stating how they should respond to a disclosure of abuse. If a child or young person tells you they have been a victim of abuse or that abuse is happening at home, you should listen with tact and believe what they tell you, and think about what to do with the information. Abuse cannot be kept a secret even if the child wishes, and it is important to be honest with them about what will happen next. Their safety is the most important concern. If a child or an adult at risk tells you that they are in danger or have suffered abuse, you should report it to the police or to the local authority social services department.

Reporting domestic abuse

Domestic abuse is a serious and violent crime. It is unacceptable and should not be tolerated. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger call 999. The police take domestic violence seriously and will be able to help and protect you or that person. If it is not an emergency but you want to find more support, you can contact your local neighbourhood policing team. If the police consider someone to be at risk (they should carry out a risk assessment), they will allocate a police liaison officer.

The police liaison officer’s priority will be the person’s safety, both now and in the future. As well as offering continued support and advice, they can help keep the person (and if necessary their children) free from abuse in a number of ways.

Independent Domestic Violence Advocates (IDVA) can also provide support and advice, allowing the police to concentrate on the investigation. An IDVA is a trained specialist whose goal is the safety of domestic abuse victims, focusing on victims at high risk of harm. The IDVA will work closely with the victim and all agencies involved in implementing the safety plan and supporting the victim through the criminal justice process.

In some areas there are also Children’s Independent Domestic Violence Advocates (KIDVA), who are specially trained to support children who are victims of domestic abuse.

How to read the stories

There is no right or wrong way to read the stories.

Some people are not used to reading stories. Start at the beginning and read the story in each picture. Encourage the reader to move through the pages at their own pace.
Encourage the person to tell the story in their own words. You will discover what they think is happening, what they already know, and how they feel. If you are using the pictures to help explain a procedure to someone, you may need to describe or clarify the actions being shown in each picture to help them understand. Try not to challenge the reader(s) or suggest their ideas are wrong.
Some pictures may be more difficult to understand. It can help to prompt the people you are supporting, for example:
•   Who do you think that is?
•   What is happening?
•   How is he or she feeling?
•   Do you feel like that? Has it happened to you/ your friend/ your family?
Allow people enough time to follow the pictures at their own pace. Allow time for discussion of each picture.
Some people may benefit from reading the larger story from which the extract has been taken. This will allow them to explore their feelings and experiences in more depth. To buy the complete book, follow the link to the bookshop that appears at the end of the story.